*************************(How I started this post yesterday)****************
I'm still so angry I can't see straight.
I'm PISSED at my mother right now. I moved a thousand miles away from her because I can't stand the yelling. She's so ignorant about certain things she doesn't understand how ignorant she is. It's not even a different point of view, she is an intolerant, close-minded, covert racist who is paranoid about anything that doesn't conform to her own point of view.
*I* called today to say hi and discuss travel plans for the holidays. I got a long rant about health care and how just because she has this medical condition has informed herself about the health care reform and how we are all going to hell in a handbasket. Now, the majority of her informing herself does not involve listening to anything but FOX and reading conservative websites. She's furious that people actually went out and voted last November solely because they wanted to vote to support a black person (while speaking in her best affected minstrel accent). While I pointed out they have a constitutional right to vote however they want, she wasn't happy about that. So, its okay to vote solely over abortion, gun control, or because he's 'white' but not anything else, eh?
I am a policy specialist. I know my material. I don't really pay attention to health care reform because right now, its all primarily fear mongering in the news. I'll read the bills enrolled at Congress, but I'm not a sheep being led around by the conservative pundits. My mother believes we are all going to have socialized medicine and that would be a scary thing.
*********************************
Okay, its a day later since I started that, and while I'm much calmer, I'm still very unhappy about the conversation with my mother and still extremely frustrated and angry.
She lives in a world where she believes Fox News is the truth and the rest of everything is lies and distortion. She buys into the culture wars and everything she believes in is under attack. ACORN is the great enemy. Of course, this is half of the parents that named my childhood dog the N word spelled backwards and thought it was a perfectly acceptable name. When I was 6, I knew it was not acceptable to name anything a profane name backwards, but they liked their little injoke on society. Personally, I've been embarrassed beyond belief about that for years and years. I actually usually delete that dog out of my animal owning history and claim my first pet was the cat with the more bland name. I don't blame the dog, but I don't like the explain the name itself.
While I know I am genetically related to these people, I truly cannot believe I was raised in a household by them and grew up so radically different. They claim they aren't racists, bigots, homophobes, haters, or paranoids, but their actions have always betrayed a very different truth. They occupy a world of the subtle slights and inferences.
I have to be a liberal because I cannot conform to her worldview. She has no easy primary color crayola box definition for what I am. I was literally in tears yesterday and more furious than I have been in years because of her blatant stereotyping of me attempting to force me to conform to her simplistic worldviews.
It truly makes me so sad I lack the capacity to accurately describe it. I'm horrified about her lack of informed opinions. She has deluded herself into thinking she has all the answers when she has become a puppet of half-truths with her own deep seated biases justifying everything as an attack upon her values.
I think what I am so disgusted with is that she is completely unwilling to process, acknowledge, or listen to any opinion that doesn't reinforce her own to begin with. I repetitively asked her if she knows the definition of libertarian and she refused to answer. I'm convinced she thought it was another word for liberal because they both begin with a L (no, I'm not joking).
Since I was a child, she has always wanted to be the martyr. I moved away because she would loudly yell and scream at me for hours at a time, telling me it was just communication. Communication for me involves both of us talking at a normal voice and listening. Last night, I got a "happy" little emailing saying we probably shouldn't debate politics because we disagree. No kidding genius. Of course, when debating involves you yelling at me with a raised voice for 30 minutes and me walking away from the phone for minutes at a time and you not realizing I left, maybe you're the one with the issues. Also, perhaps before you decide to educate me about the 'truth' you should take into consideration that your child has a doctorate in what I'm apparently so ignorant about and a specialist who trained under other some of the best academics in the country about what you are trying to explain to me. AND when your child tries to ask if you have actually looked up the bills in question and read them, don't give me a dirty jab and tell me that you don't have to because your websites and Fox News are enough. Finally, when your child tries to politely explain the process of legislation and why its not necessary to freak out over it (because again, said child only spent over 5 years of her life studying this process, but since you can watch tv, that makes you better informed) don't accuse me of being things I am not or have ever been simply because you are too ignorant or closeminded to process the information.
I was the one telling you I didn't disagree with you repetitively, but felt it was improper and inappropriate to stereotype me and place labels on me without even knowing what I stand for. And when I hold beliefs counter to your own, they are dismissed solely out of hand without even listening to any justifications.
I swear to God this is the last time I will ever let you engage me in this way. I moved 400 miles away as an undergraduate to get out of your house because I thought my head would explode. Every time I think it may be a good idea to move home, I am reminded why I am a much happier human 1000 miles away from this world. I may love my family, but I treat my students who I barely know with more courtesy and respect. My world is a world where I know perspections and life experiences shape opinions and views. You see your values as the only ones worthy and everyone else is attempting to undermine and destroy you.
I pity you and frequently wonder how the hell I exceeded my programming to become the person I'm proud to be and show the world.
Thursday, October 08, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
I teach. freshman. obviously.
Grades went up yesterday.
Between then and now, I have answered no fewer than 10 emails asking to explain what my grade breakdown means. I posted grades, and then I posted a breakdown of how many students in the class scored what. A=15, B=20, etc.
I really didn't think it was a complicated concept.... apparently, I'm wrong.
I also got an essay unlike any other I've ever received. Instead of writing on the topic, this student decided to write out a commercial to me.
I actually complained about that in class today. Not so much about the commerical being inappropriate, but because they failed to attempt the essay, it was a zero. If they had said something like "Whatsits are a thing that does something with dohickeys" with something even if it was all wrong vaguely related to the topic, I could give some points. With this? nope.
Between then and now, I have answered no fewer than 10 emails asking to explain what my grade breakdown means. I posted grades, and then I posted a breakdown of how many students in the class scored what. A=15, B=20, etc.
I really didn't think it was a complicated concept.... apparently, I'm wrong.
I also got an essay unlike any other I've ever received. Instead of writing on the topic, this student decided to write out a commercial to me.
I actually complained about that in class today. Not so much about the commerical being inappropriate, but because they failed to attempt the essay, it was a zero. If they had said something like "Whatsits are a thing that does something with dohickeys" with something even if it was all wrong vaguely related to the topic, I could give some points. With this? nope.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Sometimes I forget how young they are
I talked to my student on Friday. We discussed the situation, and he stalker clearly sounds unhinged, but perhaps part of a larger group. She's being harassed online, and people have come up to her calling her 'their queen.' I think I convinced her to go to administration though when I uttered the all important words "They can help you break leases." Apparently her landlord has been less than helpful because she recently moved in, but feels the need to move for her safety.
I teach an identical class to hers at night (though its paced differently) and I've offered to move her 'off the books' to that class if he figures out her schedule so she can continue to take the class but she won't be in the system anywhere.
I was imparting a bit of safety knowledge I have picked up over the years... nothing special... just 'have you had your computer checked for a keylogger?' or 'have you had your apartment swept for pinhole cameras'? She hadn't even known these existed, and wasn't sure what do to about him. I strongly encouraged her to get a temporary restraining order personally against them, and then go to the Dean's office, report the situation, and see if they can pursue an order against him on campus. He's older than I am, not a student, faculty member, or staff. So, there's no reason for him to be on campus except to harass her.
I was also hailing the security of pepper spray.... not that I'm a huge fan, but her new safety device was "my dad is bringing me a 12 gauge shotgun." I'm also not a huge fan of guns for protection unless you know how to really use them, and do use them on a regular basis. Even then, I still have reservations. She is planning on arming herself with a taser and having the shotgun at home. However, she has no hand to hand training and apparently this guy does. If he disarms her with the taser, then she doesn't have anything. I was explaining at least pepper spray clouds up so it can give you a couple seconds you may not otherwise have.
I'm hopeful things work out for her. I suppose I was just surprised how much of a difference 15 years makes (about the difference in our ages). Maybe I'm just cynical, but I would have dropped the hammer on this guy and not thought twice about it. I would have been camping out in administration offices until they banned him off campus and would have filed a restraining order the same day she was assaulted. I've become a much less forgiving person primarily because I have seen the havoc caused in the wake of crazy people. I don't have enough time in my days to sit around worrying that it will just go away.
I teach an identical class to hers at night (though its paced differently) and I've offered to move her 'off the books' to that class if he figures out her schedule so she can continue to take the class but she won't be in the system anywhere.
I was imparting a bit of safety knowledge I have picked up over the years... nothing special... just 'have you had your computer checked for a keylogger?' or 'have you had your apartment swept for pinhole cameras'? She hadn't even known these existed, and wasn't sure what do to about him. I strongly encouraged her to get a temporary restraining order personally against them, and then go to the Dean's office, report the situation, and see if they can pursue an order against him on campus. He's older than I am, not a student, faculty member, or staff. So, there's no reason for him to be on campus except to harass her.
I was also hailing the security of pepper spray.... not that I'm a huge fan, but her new safety device was "my dad is bringing me a 12 gauge shotgun." I'm also not a huge fan of guns for protection unless you know how to really use them, and do use them on a regular basis. Even then, I still have reservations. She is planning on arming herself with a taser and having the shotgun at home. However, she has no hand to hand training and apparently this guy does. If he disarms her with the taser, then she doesn't have anything. I was explaining at least pepper spray clouds up so it can give you a couple seconds you may not otherwise have.
I'm hopeful things work out for her. I suppose I was just surprised how much of a difference 15 years makes (about the difference in our ages). Maybe I'm just cynical, but I would have dropped the hammer on this guy and not thought twice about it. I would have been camping out in administration offices until they banned him off campus and would have filed a restraining order the same day she was assaulted. I've become a much less forgiving person primarily because I have seen the havoc caused in the wake of crazy people. I don't have enough time in my days to sit around worrying that it will just go away.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
In a Mood
My student turned in her assignment. No word about her situation though. Administration was supposed to contact her today and reach out to make sure she was aware of the resources on campus. I hope she takes them up on it.
I'm working on 2 tests. I really hate writing tests. It's even worse than taking them because I generally fret over every multiple choice question thinking about whether its fair or not. I typically write good tests, but its tiring. The big class will be put to bed tomorrow and the smaller one over the weekend.
I had a busy day. I spray painted some pots (ceramic pots plus halloween colors and painters tape) so I have some cute seasonal plants. I'm aiming for a fall tomato patch.
I've been in a bit of a funk tonight. My first serious boyfriend is on my facebook page. We have a cordial relationship, but we broke up about 15 years ago now... its always been awkward. We used to fight all the time, but I did love him. I still deeply care for him, but I ended the relationship back then because I eventually saw myself divorcing him. I loved him enough to let us move on and try to find happiness. I moved on, dated a couple people, married my husband who I dearly love. I don't see pictures of the ex often. He carried a torch for me for years, and it always broke my heart a little every time I talked to him. He remembered all the good things about our relationship, but seemed to forget the immaturity and fighting. Maybe he chose to just remember the best parts, and I thank him for that, but I remember it all. I can't forget the insecurities, the sniping, and basic incompatibilities (many were my fault... I'm not placing the blame on him... I'm more than guilty for those too). It was like our souls were in love and connected, but our basic lifestyles just didn't mesh well. I didn't know what I wanted, but I afraid continuing the relationship meant closing my eyes to all the things that fundamentally didn't work. I loved him, heck, part of me will always love him deeply, but nowadays, its the wistful 'what could have been perhaps' rather than a longing for him in the here and now. If that was the case, I could have never married my husband. My husband is the one I have built a life with, and is everything I wanted and needed in a relationship. I'm very happy where I'm at with no intentions of changing.
Okay, so why am I rambling on about the ex. Well, going back to facebook... someone else posted some photos of him at a wedding over the weekend and because they linked him, they popped up in my feed. I hadn't seen him or pictures of him in about 5-7 years. The pictures make me sad. He's become a shadow of who he used to be. He's easily 300 pounds or more now. I think he's single again. He's never married, and still does the same job he got after he graduated from college about 14 years ago. If I had stayed with him, I would have never gotten my phd. I never would have gone on this path that has brought me such personal fulfillment and happiness. However, I can't help but wonder if he would be happier, healthier, and more ambitious. I know, I know, we are all responsible for our own choices and actions, but sometimes I think I may have hurt him so much by breaking up with him that he buried himself in routine things that kept him from dreaming.
I really shouldn't speculate, but my heart still breaks when I see someone I care about (even if I can't tell him) so overweight and unhealthy looking.
I'm working on 2 tests. I really hate writing tests. It's even worse than taking them because I generally fret over every multiple choice question thinking about whether its fair or not. I typically write good tests, but its tiring. The big class will be put to bed tomorrow and the smaller one over the weekend.
I had a busy day. I spray painted some pots (ceramic pots plus halloween colors and painters tape) so I have some cute seasonal plants. I'm aiming for a fall tomato patch.
I've been in a bit of a funk tonight. My first serious boyfriend is on my facebook page. We have a cordial relationship, but we broke up about 15 years ago now... its always been awkward. We used to fight all the time, but I did love him. I still deeply care for him, but I ended the relationship back then because I eventually saw myself divorcing him. I loved him enough to let us move on and try to find happiness. I moved on, dated a couple people, married my husband who I dearly love. I don't see pictures of the ex often. He carried a torch for me for years, and it always broke my heart a little every time I talked to him. He remembered all the good things about our relationship, but seemed to forget the immaturity and fighting. Maybe he chose to just remember the best parts, and I thank him for that, but I remember it all. I can't forget the insecurities, the sniping, and basic incompatibilities (many were my fault... I'm not placing the blame on him... I'm more than guilty for those too). It was like our souls were in love and connected, but our basic lifestyles just didn't mesh well. I didn't know what I wanted, but I afraid continuing the relationship meant closing my eyes to all the things that fundamentally didn't work. I loved him, heck, part of me will always love him deeply, but nowadays, its the wistful 'what could have been perhaps' rather than a longing for him in the here and now. If that was the case, I could have never married my husband. My husband is the one I have built a life with, and is everything I wanted and needed in a relationship. I'm very happy where I'm at with no intentions of changing.
Okay, so why am I rambling on about the ex. Well, going back to facebook... someone else posted some photos of him at a wedding over the weekend and because they linked him, they popped up in my feed. I hadn't seen him or pictures of him in about 5-7 years. The pictures make me sad. He's become a shadow of who he used to be. He's easily 300 pounds or more now. I think he's single again. He's never married, and still does the same job he got after he graduated from college about 14 years ago. If I had stayed with him, I would have never gotten my phd. I never would have gone on this path that has brought me such personal fulfillment and happiness. However, I can't help but wonder if he would be happier, healthier, and more ambitious. I know, I know, we are all responsible for our own choices and actions, but sometimes I think I may have hurt him so much by breaking up with him that he buried himself in routine things that kept him from dreaming.
I really shouldn't speculate, but my heart still breaks when I see someone I care about (even if I can't tell him) so overweight and unhealthy looking.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Crazies are already coming out this semester
My first tests are next week. I'm busy organizing them and its a pain.
However, I did get my first serious problem this semester (usually these don't happen for another month or so). One of my students is apparently being stalked and was assaulted the other night. She missed my class because her stalker/assaulter hasn't been arrested yet and was on campus looking for her. She ducked into the library and emailed me to explain she couldn't turn in her paper because she was waiting for the police to arrive.
sheesh. poor kid. I did what I felt I had to do, and I hope she doesn't hate me for it. I emailed her telling her she needed to contact administration's specific office for similar situations and then called them personally to report it. Truthfully, I don't know what's up, but she sounded really distressed and I'd rather be over cautious than under cautious. Plus, if he's stalking her and she's in my class, I have to take steps to make my course safe and that involves getting administration into the situation to restrict this person (the stalker) on campus.
I haven't heard from her this afternoon, but I'm guess this is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg.
However, I did get my first serious problem this semester (usually these don't happen for another month or so). One of my students is apparently being stalked and was assaulted the other night. She missed my class because her stalker/assaulter hasn't been arrested yet and was on campus looking for her. She ducked into the library and emailed me to explain she couldn't turn in her paper because she was waiting for the police to arrive.
sheesh. poor kid. I did what I felt I had to do, and I hope she doesn't hate me for it. I emailed her telling her she needed to contact administration's specific office for similar situations and then called them personally to report it. Truthfully, I don't know what's up, but she sounded really distressed and I'd rather be over cautious than under cautious. Plus, if he's stalking her and she's in my class, I have to take steps to make my course safe and that involves getting administration into the situation to restrict this person (the stalker) on campus.
I haven't heard from her this afternoon, but I'm guess this is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Cough Cough, etc
There's alot to post about... I'll probably make a list. I have meant to post for the last day or so, but we have company coming to dinner tomorrow, so I have been busy.
1. I got swine flu from a student 3 days after classes started
2. Went to Toronto for a conference
3. We've had a thief in the department stealing the machines in the women's bathrooms. I actually saw him before I knew what he was doing.
4. I know there's something else I want to post about that's slipping my mind again. D'Oh! The contractors that redid our bathroom last year deserve a special ring in hell. We're doing to have to have them redone because they were done incorrectly to a tune of about 5k.
1. At least I think it was swine flu. I was running a 102 degree fever and felt like crap. It lasted about 2 days, it was the worst I have felt in a really long time. Fortunately, I was at my worst over the weekend so I didn't miss classes, but I was really suffering.
2. Then a couple days after that, I had to go to Toronto for a conference. I had never been to Toronto. It was okay I guess. I spent most of my time at the conference, but while we were in the tourist area, there wasn't much to do that interested me. Plus, roaming on my phone was extremely high, and it was kinda just a hassle. I got to fly home first class which rocked.
3. We've had this guy who has been going into the various women's restrooms and stealing the change out of the sanitary machines. Bizarre... especially since you only get a buck each or so. I actually saw him the first time he did it. He said he was working on the machine and I didn't really pay much attention. I just told him to move so I could check my hair (which I did). He got caught and arrested this week because genius boy thought it was a good idea to walk down the main hall of the department (in front of the office) and try to break into the machine on their floor. Our secretary had called the cops before I think he even got into the bathroom. She's pretty new to our department (the secretary) but she kicks butt. She's probably the most organized secretary we've had in years. It's like having a bright ray of sunshine in there.
4. We had a few lingering issues from the remodel we wanted to have done. We knew the tub area wasn't as well done as it should have been and wanted a little touch up. The tile guy who came in for an estimate pointed out a bunch of problems (in short the tile was done by someone who doesn't really specialize in it and make some mistakes that can get worse over time) and we're probably going to have to have it ripped out and redone. There have been some cracks developing on the tile, and according to this guy, it was set too high and will just keep cracking. ugh. We're going to get another estimate, but I'm not happy about spending another 5,000 to fix the problems. It's not even a big bathroom! (okay, granted it includes retiling the guest bathroom which was also screwed up, but its just a straight up tile job... the complicated stuff is in our bathroom). So, I'm not happy about that.
ah well. i'll try to write more later.
1. I got swine flu from a student 3 days after classes started
2. Went to Toronto for a conference
3. We've had a thief in the department stealing the machines in the women's bathrooms. I actually saw him before I knew what he was doing.
4. I know there's something else I want to post about that's slipping my mind again. D'Oh! The contractors that redid our bathroom last year deserve a special ring in hell. We're doing to have to have them redone because they were done incorrectly to a tune of about 5k.
1. At least I think it was swine flu. I was running a 102 degree fever and felt like crap. It lasted about 2 days, it was the worst I have felt in a really long time. Fortunately, I was at my worst over the weekend so I didn't miss classes, but I was really suffering.
2. Then a couple days after that, I had to go to Toronto for a conference. I had never been to Toronto. It was okay I guess. I spent most of my time at the conference, but while we were in the tourist area, there wasn't much to do that interested me. Plus, roaming on my phone was extremely high, and it was kinda just a hassle. I got to fly home first class which rocked.
3. We've had this guy who has been going into the various women's restrooms and stealing the change out of the sanitary machines. Bizarre... especially since you only get a buck each or so. I actually saw him the first time he did it. He said he was working on the machine and I didn't really pay much attention. I just told him to move so I could check my hair (which I did). He got caught and arrested this week because genius boy thought it was a good idea to walk down the main hall of the department (in front of the office) and try to break into the machine on their floor. Our secretary had called the cops before I think he even got into the bathroom. She's pretty new to our department (the secretary) but she kicks butt. She's probably the most organized secretary we've had in years. It's like having a bright ray of sunshine in there.
4. We had a few lingering issues from the remodel we wanted to have done. We knew the tub area wasn't as well done as it should have been and wanted a little touch up. The tile guy who came in for an estimate pointed out a bunch of problems (in short the tile was done by someone who doesn't really specialize in it and make some mistakes that can get worse over time) and we're probably going to have to have it ripped out and redone. There have been some cracks developing on the tile, and according to this guy, it was set too high and will just keep cracking. ugh. We're going to get another estimate, but I'm not happy about spending another 5,000 to fix the problems. It's not even a big bathroom! (okay, granted it includes retiling the guest bathroom which was also screwed up, but its just a straight up tile job... the complicated stuff is in our bathroom). So, I'm not happy about that.
ah well. i'll try to write more later.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Catching up
Classes started this week. I already have one kid with porky flu. She showed up the first day sick because she wanted to see what I had to say about the class. I also have a kid who is out because he's having an ankle reconstruction (ugh).
Aside from that, I have 450 students. wowzers. It's been okay so far, but the one thing I've noticed between this semester and previous semesters is that more students are concerned about the price of books. You can use old editions in my class with some caveats and understanding there are some shortcomings. In short, most of the material is in the older editions, but I contend you have to check the copies I have on reserve in the library before tests (or take time to compare them chapter by chapter.. not page by page, but make sure it all matches up). Ultimately, its a good way to save money, but it places more work upon the student. For one of my classes, the reader can be pieced together from online material... they are all publicly available speeches and documents, but the book compiles them and makes it easier for students. If they are willing to do the legwork, you can save on the cost of the book and look it all up online. I have more students who are choosing to do legwork themselves than any other semester. I think finances are really tight for alot of them this year and they are willing to take a bit of responsibility themselves (I hope they are at least) and save a bit of cash.
I did get the TA for this course. He's a nice enough guy. He's in his 3rd year of grad school so I don't have to hold his hand. I'm pretty happy all things considered.
Turning to my friend, I have alot of conflicting feelings about her situation. Two weekends ago, I helped her move. They had one place but their neighbors complained about their 2 year old's crying. So, she's due in about 5 days and they were completely moving their house at the last moment. I was really tired, but I got the kitchen moved and a bunch of stuff. I started about 10am and by about 3pm, I still had a couple hours left in me, but her husband wanted to stop because he was tired. They are still slightly moving (they have until the end of the month) but are mostly done.
She was going to have a C section because the baby was breech and couldn't be turned. I was supposed to go see her a couple days after the move. However, that morning she called. She had doctors appointment in the morning and I was coming in the afternoon. The doctor found she was fully dialated and didn't let her leave. She went to the hospital immediately and had the baby that afternoon.
I saw the baby last week. He's small... about 6 pounds, but completely healthy and perfect. He's so cute. I've never seen a baby so small and adorable. He's just small, but completely fine.
I really hate to say this and I feel extremely conflicted about even saying this, but I sorta think having this child may have been a mistake. I really should be very clear here. It's not his fault, I think he's great, but I'm not convinced my friend should have had another child right now. No, I don't think she should have terminated (he was a planned child) but I think it's going to add alot more pressure in her life.
Let me try to explain this better. Her husband didn't want any children at all. She threatened to leave if they didn't have kids. He agreed to have a child. Their eldest is 2. She does everything for the child so her husband doesn't have to do practically anything. He was okay with one child because it didn't change his lifestyle practically at all. He didn't really want another child, but again she wanted another and so they got pregnant again. He ignored the entire pregnancy because he didn't want to deal with it (I had never been in a home with so few things for a new baby). When she went into labor, he declared he had nothing to do but wait and sat down to write a journal paper completely ignoring her.
He's been very difficult the last week because after the C section, she cannot take care of the 2 year old. He's unhappy because he's had to take care of the toddler. The toddler is unhappy because Mommy isn't taking care of him and has taken to biting his father to express his opinion. I went over to her house on Thursday (I don't teach those days) in part because the agreement they reached was for the first 2 weeks after the baby, he would stay at home (except when teaching) to take care of them. On Wednesday, he declared he was bored at home (this is less than 3 days after coming home from the hospital) and since there wasn't anything to do, he was going to school and leaving her there with the baby for the rest of the week. She was really upset because it wasn't what they agreed to, but also because she still has stitches, the baby is very young, and he takes their only car. She's upset because if something happens, there's no one else there.
I went over on Thursday and talked for a couple hours, but at a specific time she literally threw me out (politely, but nonetheless) because I think her husband was due home shortly and he's very moody and didn't want me there.
It's extremely clear he did not want a second child, does not want to take care of a second child, and is very angry about the changes in his lifestyle from the second child. I feel really bad about the situation because she is an extremely good friend of mine. I think she likes to see things at times as the way she wants them to be and not the way they actually are. I think she is hoping he will come around and everything will be great. Personally, I'm not convinced. I'm crossing my fingers she's right, but I'm extremely concerned there is just going to be alot of resentment building up until the point it boils over. Neither are violent, but it does makes a difficult living situation.
I cleaned my whole upstairs office. woot. I also reorganized all the books to they are largest to smallest on all the shelves. It's actually looking pretty smart. I also collect knicknacks... nothing like kitties or unicorns, but little remembrances of family or events throughout my life. I put them on my bookshelves and it makes a pretty interesting display. I think it reveals alot about me. I walked through alot of the pieces and it was like paging through my life. Maybe I'll post a photo sometime.
I was cleaning up the office because I'm thinking about getting a small sofa for the office. Why? The dog. She hates me working in my office. She wants me to work on the sofa downstairs so she and stretch out and sleep. I want a small sofa (chair and a half) and I'm thinking about this one. It's the Oxford Twin Sleeper at Crate and Barrel. It's the best one I've found when I went out last weekend and sat in about 20 potential candidates. The ultimate goal is to have a nice small sofa I can sit in and work, but also let her chill out so I can get work done upstairs.
Finally, canning. I've taking to canning. So far, I've made peach preserves, strawberry jam, and fruit chutney. I'll make citrus marmalade this weekend. It's shockingly, surprising easy. It takes a few tools, but if you are a detailed oriented person with a couple hours to kill, it is definitely worth your time. For high acid stuff (low acid takes pressure cooking which is another animal that I haven't tried), the major thing to remember is that microbial bugs are bad. You just have to boil the crap out of everything. If you have a large pot with a rack to keep the jars from hitting each other (and thus cracking) in the water, that's the most expensive thing.
Here's how to basically can stuff.... Fill big pot of water. Put in jars. I throw the lids (the rims) in the middle. Boil. When it boils for a couple minutes. Turn it down to simmer. The jars are pretty much germ free(ish) now and keeping them hot keeps them from cracking when you fill with hot goo. Make up your goo for the insides. I tend to skimp on the sugar and add low sugar pectin because I think many recipes are too sweet. But, follow a general recipe. There are alot out there. Take the lids (the center parts of the lids) and put them in water (a separate small pot). Bring them to simmer but not boil.
Now, at this point, 3 tools are your bestest friends ever. Tongs, a very clean magnet and funnel.
When the goo (preserves, jam, jelly, whatever) is ready per recipe, I like to get out a clean cutting board. Use tongs and pull a jar out of the water (I empty the water out back into the pot). Put on cutting board. Put funnel in jar. Pour goo in jar and leave about a quarter inch of headroom. Get magnet. Use it to pull the center lid out of hot water and without touching rim (if rim got dirty, clean it carefully with clean sponge) center it on jar. Use magnet to pull rim for lid out of water. Screw it down lightly. Don't tighten too much or it will be bad (boom!).
Use tongs and replace in water. However, if you got any goo on the jar itself, wait until you are completely done filling them before you put them back in the water so you don't have any cross contamination. I'm pretty careful and don't spill so I often move them back to water.
Finish all the jars and put them in the water. Turn water back up to boil. It should only take a couple minutes. Boil crap out of jars. Follow the recipe, but its often 10 minutes and I often give it 15 for good measure because I'm new at this. You want it to boil for at least 10 minutes to kill all the bugs.
After 10 minutes, turn off water. One by one, pull jars (using tongs) out of water. If you are not going to process more than about 6 jars, let the water cool and then dump it. If you are going to process more... just repeat these steps with new jars. As the jars cool you'll hear pings. That's the seal on the jar. It's a good thing. If the jar doesn't seal, that's a bad thing. There are ways to fix it immediately, but look it up elsewhere... I haven't had a failure yet. But if it does fail, you can also stick it in the fridge and use it over the next couple days, but don't put it in the cupboard because it's not going to keep.
Mark them so you remember what they are, but that's about it. Mostly just keep clean, kill bugs, and boiling water is your friend. It's actually pretty easy. I small batch stuff here (2-3 jars) with stuff I have here (that's also why I'm adjusting recipes because I don't need 6 cups of sugar for 2 jars) and it takes a couple hours from start to finish.
Aside from that, I have 450 students. wowzers. It's been okay so far, but the one thing I've noticed between this semester and previous semesters is that more students are concerned about the price of books. You can use old editions in my class with some caveats and understanding there are some shortcomings. In short, most of the material is in the older editions, but I contend you have to check the copies I have on reserve in the library before tests (or take time to compare them chapter by chapter.. not page by page, but make sure it all matches up). Ultimately, its a good way to save money, but it places more work upon the student. For one of my classes, the reader can be pieced together from online material... they are all publicly available speeches and documents, but the book compiles them and makes it easier for students. If they are willing to do the legwork, you can save on the cost of the book and look it all up online. I have more students who are choosing to do legwork themselves than any other semester. I think finances are really tight for alot of them this year and they are willing to take a bit of responsibility themselves (I hope they are at least) and save a bit of cash.
I did get the TA for this course. He's a nice enough guy. He's in his 3rd year of grad school so I don't have to hold his hand. I'm pretty happy all things considered.
Turning to my friend, I have alot of conflicting feelings about her situation. Two weekends ago, I helped her move. They had one place but their neighbors complained about their 2 year old's crying. So, she's due in about 5 days and they were completely moving their house at the last moment. I was really tired, but I got the kitchen moved and a bunch of stuff. I started about 10am and by about 3pm, I still had a couple hours left in me, but her husband wanted to stop because he was tired. They are still slightly moving (they have until the end of the month) but are mostly done.
She was going to have a C section because the baby was breech and couldn't be turned. I was supposed to go see her a couple days after the move. However, that morning she called. She had doctors appointment in the morning and I was coming in the afternoon. The doctor found she was fully dialated and didn't let her leave. She went to the hospital immediately and had the baby that afternoon.
I saw the baby last week. He's small... about 6 pounds, but completely healthy and perfect. He's so cute. I've never seen a baby so small and adorable. He's just small, but completely fine.
I really hate to say this and I feel extremely conflicted about even saying this, but I sorta think having this child may have been a mistake. I really should be very clear here. It's not his fault, I think he's great, but I'm not convinced my friend should have had another child right now. No, I don't think she should have terminated (he was a planned child) but I think it's going to add alot more pressure in her life.
Let me try to explain this better. Her husband didn't want any children at all. She threatened to leave if they didn't have kids. He agreed to have a child. Their eldest is 2. She does everything for the child so her husband doesn't have to do practically anything. He was okay with one child because it didn't change his lifestyle practically at all. He didn't really want another child, but again she wanted another and so they got pregnant again. He ignored the entire pregnancy because he didn't want to deal with it (I had never been in a home with so few things for a new baby). When she went into labor, he declared he had nothing to do but wait and sat down to write a journal paper completely ignoring her.
He's been very difficult the last week because after the C section, she cannot take care of the 2 year old. He's unhappy because he's had to take care of the toddler. The toddler is unhappy because Mommy isn't taking care of him and has taken to biting his father to express his opinion. I went over to her house on Thursday (I don't teach those days) in part because the agreement they reached was for the first 2 weeks after the baby, he would stay at home (except when teaching) to take care of them. On Wednesday, he declared he was bored at home (this is less than 3 days after coming home from the hospital) and since there wasn't anything to do, he was going to school and leaving her there with the baby for the rest of the week. She was really upset because it wasn't what they agreed to, but also because she still has stitches, the baby is very young, and he takes their only car. She's upset because if something happens, there's no one else there.
I went over on Thursday and talked for a couple hours, but at a specific time she literally threw me out (politely, but nonetheless) because I think her husband was due home shortly and he's very moody and didn't want me there.
It's extremely clear he did not want a second child, does not want to take care of a second child, and is very angry about the changes in his lifestyle from the second child. I feel really bad about the situation because she is an extremely good friend of mine. I think she likes to see things at times as the way she wants them to be and not the way they actually are. I think she is hoping he will come around and everything will be great. Personally, I'm not convinced. I'm crossing my fingers she's right, but I'm extremely concerned there is just going to be alot of resentment building up until the point it boils over. Neither are violent, but it does makes a difficult living situation.
I cleaned my whole upstairs office. woot. I also reorganized all the books to they are largest to smallest on all the shelves. It's actually looking pretty smart. I also collect knicknacks... nothing like kitties or unicorns, but little remembrances of family or events throughout my life. I put them on my bookshelves and it makes a pretty interesting display. I think it reveals alot about me. I walked through alot of the pieces and it was like paging through my life. Maybe I'll post a photo sometime.
I was cleaning up the office because I'm thinking about getting a small sofa for the office. Why? The dog. She hates me working in my office. She wants me to work on the sofa downstairs so she and stretch out and sleep. I want a small sofa (chair and a half) and I'm thinking about this one. It's the Oxford Twin Sleeper at Crate and Barrel. It's the best one I've found when I went out last weekend and sat in about 20 potential candidates. The ultimate goal is to have a nice small sofa I can sit in and work, but also let her chill out so I can get work done upstairs.
Finally, canning. I've taking to canning. So far, I've made peach preserves, strawberry jam, and fruit chutney. I'll make citrus marmalade this weekend. It's shockingly, surprising easy. It takes a few tools, but if you are a detailed oriented person with a couple hours to kill, it is definitely worth your time. For high acid stuff (low acid takes pressure cooking which is another animal that I haven't tried), the major thing to remember is that microbial bugs are bad. You just have to boil the crap out of everything. If you have a large pot with a rack to keep the jars from hitting each other (and thus cracking) in the water, that's the most expensive thing.
Here's how to basically can stuff.... Fill big pot of water. Put in jars. I throw the lids (the rims) in the middle. Boil. When it boils for a couple minutes. Turn it down to simmer. The jars are pretty much germ free(ish) now and keeping them hot keeps them from cracking when you fill with hot goo. Make up your goo for the insides. I tend to skimp on the sugar and add low sugar pectin because I think many recipes are too sweet. But, follow a general recipe. There are alot out there. Take the lids (the center parts of the lids) and put them in water (a separate small pot). Bring them to simmer but not boil.
Now, at this point, 3 tools are your bestest friends ever. Tongs, a very clean magnet and funnel.
When the goo (preserves, jam, jelly, whatever) is ready per recipe, I like to get out a clean cutting board. Use tongs and pull a jar out of the water (I empty the water out back into the pot). Put on cutting board. Put funnel in jar. Pour goo in jar and leave about a quarter inch of headroom. Get magnet. Use it to pull the center lid out of hot water and without touching rim (if rim got dirty, clean it carefully with clean sponge) center it on jar. Use magnet to pull rim for lid out of water. Screw it down lightly. Don't tighten too much or it will be bad (boom!).
Use tongs and replace in water. However, if you got any goo on the jar itself, wait until you are completely done filling them before you put them back in the water so you don't have any cross contamination. I'm pretty careful and don't spill so I often move them back to water.
Finish all the jars and put them in the water. Turn water back up to boil. It should only take a couple minutes. Boil crap out of jars. Follow the recipe, but its often 10 minutes and I often give it 15 for good measure because I'm new at this. You want it to boil for at least 10 minutes to kill all the bugs.
After 10 minutes, turn off water. One by one, pull jars (using tongs) out of water. If you are not going to process more than about 6 jars, let the water cool and then dump it. If you are going to process more... just repeat these steps with new jars. As the jars cool you'll hear pings. That's the seal on the jar. It's a good thing. If the jar doesn't seal, that's a bad thing. There are ways to fix it immediately, but look it up elsewhere... I haven't had a failure yet. But if it does fail, you can also stick it in the fridge and use it over the next couple days, but don't put it in the cupboard because it's not going to keep.
Mark them so you remember what they are, but that's about it. Mostly just keep clean, kill bugs, and boiling water is your friend. It's actually pretty easy. I small batch stuff here (2-3 jars) with stuff I have here (that's also why I'm adjusting recipes because I don't need 6 cups of sugar for 2 jars) and it takes a couple hours from start to finish.
So busy
I've been so busy lately
I'll try to post more soon.
I have 450 students this semester
My friend had her baby
I helped her and her husband move
I cleaned my whole office and I'm really happy about it.
I'm probably buying a small sofa for the office (hence the cleaning). It's all about the dog.
I've started canning and its pretty fun.
Citrus marmalade this weekend.
I'll try to post about them allsoon
I'll try to post more soon.
I have 450 students this semester
My friend had her baby
I helped her and her husband move
I cleaned my whole office and I'm really happy about it.
I'm probably buying a small sofa for the office (hence the cleaning). It's all about the dog.
I've started canning and its pretty fun.
Citrus marmalade this weekend.
I'll try to post about them allsoon
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