The excuses are piling up, much like presents under a tree.
I'll give a brief rundown of things I want to mention.
1)Thanx
2) Excuses from kiddies
3) Job going poof
4) Husband's illness
1) Thanksgiving was good. It was just us. I had a horrible sinus problem because of all the painting here at the house. I was miserable, but I cooked anyways. Ultimately, the food was pretty good.
2) Yesterday was the last day of class. I have lost count of how many students have asked for an early final. Some I granted, some I refused. For example, I had one girl going home to take a winter short class at her community college. The class started the day before my final. I had no problems with granting that. I also had various weddings, and parents who bought plane tickets before checking the final schedule. Again, I give them a raised eyebrow, but with verification, let them test early. I even let the kid who lives about 20 hours away and is driving home test early. I was his only final (I have a late final this year, about 10 days after classes are over) and he's driving from sunnier parts of America to harsh icy snowy parts of America. Plus, he asked me two months ago.
Students I didnt' approve: asking me at 11pm the night classes end by email kid. "Hey, can I take this final thing early?" (no reason or rationale) Me: "nope. If you have a verified excuse showing a conflict, perhaps, but otherwise... no" I got several emails from kids who didn't bother to look at finals schedule until the day classes ended and wanted to start their breaks earlier. I also refused the kid who wanted me to reschedule his final because he had 4 tests and 4 days that was (in his words) "too much work." I wanted to write to him the reply "welcome to college" but I politely refused pointing out that it was not an unusual occurence, start studying now, and if he had 3 or 4 on one day (as occasionally happens if you have labs from different colleges.. like a bio in liberal arts and an engineering one) I would allow a change, but only for those students with multiple exams on the same day. (I did reschedule one student because her other prof moved his exam on top of mine for his convienence - not university scheduling- and because it was a far unrelated department (think ancient and medieval muscial basketweaving remote) it wasn't worth fighting over since I have my night class doing a final on Monday. The down side is all the approved early finals get to test, not just a little early, but ALOT early. That's bad if they haven't studied, but its the only time I have with a room booked.
I also crushed the slacker dreams of a kid last night. Last night at midnight was the absolute last day, no exceptions period deadline for late papers. This day has been on the syllabus since August. All the paper assignments were on the syllabus since August. I have a kid in the class that I had in another course. Nice guy... friendly. He doesn't show up much, and only turned in 1 of 7 papers (they are short 2 page papers). I get an email at 11pm last night saying "Since he has the LSAT tomorrow morning and wants to sleep, can he please be allowed to turn in his papers on Sunday afternoon?" So, an hour away from deadline, he asks for an extension(by email with no communication in person) for the last day to turn in for 50% credit even though these should have been submitted months ago.
I refused. I told him to email me what he has, its not fair to the rest of the class because they are not getting extensions, and to email me an hour before the absolute last day deadline is not acceptable.
How many papers did I get? ONE (1). That tells me that slacker boy decided at 10:30 last night to write 6 papers, realized he couldn't do it, and wanted more time. Plus, he has his LSATs today. sigh. I suspect this isn't over yet.
3) Job=poof. Well, we all know I don't have a job next year. My husband's department was thinking about hiring me to teach some technical stuff I'm perfectly qualified for. Their administration decided to cut the budget to that position. (lovely) On the upside, they are going to go to administration to discuss putting money into my current job to retain me here.
4) Well, the husband has not just been sniffle sick, but really sick. He wound up in the ER on Tuesday morning dehydrated again (much like June). While there, they mentioned his liver levels were still as high as they were in June (excuse me?) They never reported to us his liver levels were high. His doctor who is really on top of my husband's health never got a report. So, all hell has broken loose this week. His liver levels are about 4-20x above normal (depending on the day). So far, we have ruled out liver cancer (ultrasound to check with bloodwork) and Hepatitis (that's what everyone thought and I had scheduled blood tests for me in case, but the rush blood work came back yesterday late afternoon negative). Next week, he gets his gall bladder dyed and examined. He also has an appointment with a specialist.
My friend the nurse (one of my best friends from HS who is studying to be a doc now) suspects drug toxicity. The doctors have pulled him off all his meds. The husband takes a high dose of one drug to manage his cholesterol issues (its a genetic high level, not a diet thing).
So we'll see.. keep your fingers crossed.
Saturday, December 05, 2009
Saturday, November 14, 2009
ok. the job thing.
I haven't really had time to write about this.
I don't have my primary job next year, but I do have options.
My job is paid out of the soft money budget. Our college has slashed the department's soft money budget. It came down to funding the graduate students or funding the lecturers.
So, no day job. I will still continue teaching for night school so I'll at least have a position. My department chair wants my husband's department to go to administration and see if they will cover my salary. This is where things get a little shaky/more interesting.
My husband's college is not particularly interested in paying for me to work in another college. If they are picking up my tab, they want me to work for them. Over in his college, there is a lecturer retiring who teaches students how to apply for grants, write resumes, etc. There is also a course they want taught about how their specialty areas work with governments. Neither is exactly what I do, but the pay is over double what I currently make for smaller classes and a more permanent job. It's also close enough that I can do it even though its not what I do.
One of my best friends also is trying to get me a job in her department. It's nearby... about 20 miles away. There is, of course, a wrinkle to this situation. Her department is hiring 2 related field jobs to me this year. I'm partially qualified for these jobs. They are also hiring lecturers that I could almost positively get the lecturer job. Next year, they will hire my specialty field area. Also, everyone but 5 people (my friend is one of the 5) was originally hired as a lecturer first. So, I'm not sure what to do.
My department may even get money at the last minute and rehire me, but I'm not sure if I want that either. sigh.
I don't have my primary job next year, but I do have options.
My job is paid out of the soft money budget. Our college has slashed the department's soft money budget. It came down to funding the graduate students or funding the lecturers.
So, no day job. I will still continue teaching for night school so I'll at least have a position. My department chair wants my husband's department to go to administration and see if they will cover my salary. This is where things get a little shaky/more interesting.
My husband's college is not particularly interested in paying for me to work in another college. If they are picking up my tab, they want me to work for them. Over in his college, there is a lecturer retiring who teaches students how to apply for grants, write resumes, etc. There is also a course they want taught about how their specialty areas work with governments. Neither is exactly what I do, but the pay is over double what I currently make for smaller classes and a more permanent job. It's also close enough that I can do it even though its not what I do.
One of my best friends also is trying to get me a job in her department. It's nearby... about 20 miles away. There is, of course, a wrinkle to this situation. Her department is hiring 2 related field jobs to me this year. I'm partially qualified for these jobs. They are also hiring lecturers that I could almost positively get the lecturer job. Next year, they will hire my specialty field area. Also, everyone but 5 people (my friend is one of the 5) was originally hired as a lecturer first. So, I'm not sure what to do.
My department may even get money at the last minute and rehire me, but I'm not sure if I want that either. sigh.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Sad, but not surprised
A long while back, I was having drama with my dissertation chair.
He was arrested yesterday for domestic assault.
The department chair of my phd department was so concerned after he bailed out, the department closed 3 hours early so people could go home in case he came to the university.
He's now on administrative leave.
What freaks me out is he's is the one at the national level who decides paper acceptances for my subfield this year.
I'm sad for him because its likely the end of his professional career, but the warning signs have been there for year. The verbal issues with me, the yelling contest with another faculty member, the almost punching another faculty member, and it goes on.
He was arrested yesterday for domestic assault.
The department chair of my phd department was so concerned after he bailed out, the department closed 3 hours early so people could go home in case he came to the university.
He's now on administrative leave.
What freaks me out is he's is the one at the national level who decides paper acceptances for my subfield this year.
I'm sad for him because its likely the end of his professional career, but the warning signs have been there for year. The verbal issues with me, the yelling contest with another faculty member, the almost punching another faculty member, and it goes on.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Been a while
It's been a while but I'm not dead.
Just really really busy.
Found out I don't have a job next year. joy. So, I'm trying to figure out where to work. I have some options, but it will be a change. I'll try to blog on it soon.
The primary reason I haven't been blogging is the husband decided to have the house remodeled. Our upstairs is now 3 bedrooms instead of 4. They are all bigger (well, the master closet is now 2x the size), but I've been the one packing crap and now unpacking crap.
The house looks great, but I would have prefered doing this in the spring.
With so many students, it feels like I'm on a roller coaster right now.
Just really really busy.
Found out I don't have a job next year. joy. So, I'm trying to figure out where to work. I have some options, but it will be a change. I'll try to blog on it soon.
The primary reason I haven't been blogging is the husband decided to have the house remodeled. Our upstairs is now 3 bedrooms instead of 4. They are all bigger (well, the master closet is now 2x the size), but I've been the one packing crap and now unpacking crap.
The house looks great, but I would have prefered doing this in the spring.
With so many students, it feels like I'm on a roller coaster right now.
Thursday, October 08, 2009
&%(I*&#@&^
*************************(How I started this post yesterday)****************
I'm still so angry I can't see straight.
I'm PISSED at my mother right now. I moved a thousand miles away from her because I can't stand the yelling. She's so ignorant about certain things she doesn't understand how ignorant she is. It's not even a different point of view, she is an intolerant, close-minded, covert racist who is paranoid about anything that doesn't conform to her own point of view.
*I* called today to say hi and discuss travel plans for the holidays. I got a long rant about health care and how just because she has this medical condition has informed herself about the health care reform and how we are all going to hell in a handbasket. Now, the majority of her informing herself does not involve listening to anything but FOX and reading conservative websites. She's furious that people actually went out and voted last November solely because they wanted to vote to support a black person (while speaking in her best affected minstrel accent). While I pointed out they have a constitutional right to vote however they want, she wasn't happy about that. So, its okay to vote solely over abortion, gun control, or because he's 'white' but not anything else, eh?
I am a policy specialist. I know my material. I don't really pay attention to health care reform because right now, its all primarily fear mongering in the news. I'll read the bills enrolled at Congress, but I'm not a sheep being led around by the conservative pundits. My mother believes we are all going to have socialized medicine and that would be a scary thing.
*********************************
Okay, its a day later since I started that, and while I'm much calmer, I'm still very unhappy about the conversation with my mother and still extremely frustrated and angry.
She lives in a world where she believes Fox News is the truth and the rest of everything is lies and distortion. She buys into the culture wars and everything she believes in is under attack. ACORN is the great enemy. Of course, this is half of the parents that named my childhood dog the N word spelled backwards and thought it was a perfectly acceptable name. When I was 6, I knew it was not acceptable to name anything a profane name backwards, but they liked their little injoke on society. Personally, I've been embarrassed beyond belief about that for years and years. I actually usually delete that dog out of my animal owning history and claim my first pet was the cat with the more bland name. I don't blame the dog, but I don't like the explain the name itself.
While I know I am genetically related to these people, I truly cannot believe I was raised in a household by them and grew up so radically different. They claim they aren't racists, bigots, homophobes, haters, or paranoids, but their actions have always betrayed a very different truth. They occupy a world of the subtle slights and inferences.
I have to be a liberal because I cannot conform to her worldview. She has no easy primary color crayola box definition for what I am. I was literally in tears yesterday and more furious than I have been in years because of her blatant stereotyping of me attempting to force me to conform to her simplistic worldviews.
It truly makes me so sad I lack the capacity to accurately describe it. I'm horrified about her lack of informed opinions. She has deluded herself into thinking she has all the answers when she has become a puppet of half-truths with her own deep seated biases justifying everything as an attack upon her values.
I think what I am so disgusted with is that she is completely unwilling to process, acknowledge, or listen to any opinion that doesn't reinforce her own to begin with. I repetitively asked her if she knows the definition of libertarian and she refused to answer. I'm convinced she thought it was another word for liberal because they both begin with a L (no, I'm not joking).
Since I was a child, she has always wanted to be the martyr. I moved away because she would loudly yell and scream at me for hours at a time, telling me it was just communication. Communication for me involves both of us talking at a normal voice and listening. Last night, I got a "happy" little emailing saying we probably shouldn't debate politics because we disagree. No kidding genius. Of course, when debating involves you yelling at me with a raised voice for 30 minutes and me walking away from the phone for minutes at a time and you not realizing I left, maybe you're the one with the issues. Also, perhaps before you decide to educate me about the 'truth' you should take into consideration that your child has a doctorate in what I'm apparently so ignorant about and a specialist who trained under other some of the best academics in the country about what you are trying to explain to me. AND when your child tries to ask if you have actually looked up the bills in question and read them, don't give me a dirty jab and tell me that you don't have to because your websites and Fox News are enough. Finally, when your child tries to politely explain the process of legislation and why its not necessary to freak out over it (because again, said child only spent over 5 years of her life studying this process, but since you can watch tv, that makes you better informed) don't accuse me of being things I am not or have ever been simply because you are too ignorant or closeminded to process the information.
I was the one telling you I didn't disagree with you repetitively, but felt it was improper and inappropriate to stereotype me and place labels on me without even knowing what I stand for. And when I hold beliefs counter to your own, they are dismissed solely out of hand without even listening to any justifications.
I swear to God this is the last time I will ever let you engage me in this way. I moved 400 miles away as an undergraduate to get out of your house because I thought my head would explode. Every time I think it may be a good idea to move home, I am reminded why I am a much happier human 1000 miles away from this world. I may love my family, but I treat my students who I barely know with more courtesy and respect. My world is a world where I know perspections and life experiences shape opinions and views. You see your values as the only ones worthy and everyone else is attempting to undermine and destroy you.
I pity you and frequently wonder how the hell I exceeded my programming to become the person I'm proud to be and show the world.
I'm still so angry I can't see straight.
I'm PISSED at my mother right now. I moved a thousand miles away from her because I can't stand the yelling. She's so ignorant about certain things she doesn't understand how ignorant she is. It's not even a different point of view, she is an intolerant, close-minded, covert racist who is paranoid about anything that doesn't conform to her own point of view.
*I* called today to say hi and discuss travel plans for the holidays. I got a long rant about health care and how just because she has this medical condition has informed herself about the health care reform and how we are all going to hell in a handbasket. Now, the majority of her informing herself does not involve listening to anything but FOX and reading conservative websites. She's furious that people actually went out and voted last November solely because they wanted to vote to support a black person (while speaking in her best affected minstrel accent). While I pointed out they have a constitutional right to vote however they want, she wasn't happy about that. So, its okay to vote solely over abortion, gun control, or because he's 'white' but not anything else, eh?
I am a policy specialist. I know my material. I don't really pay attention to health care reform because right now, its all primarily fear mongering in the news. I'll read the bills enrolled at Congress, but I'm not a sheep being led around by the conservative pundits. My mother believes we are all going to have socialized medicine and that would be a scary thing.
*********************************
Okay, its a day later since I started that, and while I'm much calmer, I'm still very unhappy about the conversation with my mother and still extremely frustrated and angry.
She lives in a world where she believes Fox News is the truth and the rest of everything is lies and distortion. She buys into the culture wars and everything she believes in is under attack. ACORN is the great enemy. Of course, this is half of the parents that named my childhood dog the N word spelled backwards and thought it was a perfectly acceptable name. When I was 6, I knew it was not acceptable to name anything a profane name backwards, but they liked their little injoke on society. Personally, I've been embarrassed beyond belief about that for years and years. I actually usually delete that dog out of my animal owning history and claim my first pet was the cat with the more bland name. I don't blame the dog, but I don't like the explain the name itself.
While I know I am genetically related to these people, I truly cannot believe I was raised in a household by them and grew up so radically different. They claim they aren't racists, bigots, homophobes, haters, or paranoids, but their actions have always betrayed a very different truth. They occupy a world of the subtle slights and inferences.
I have to be a liberal because I cannot conform to her worldview. She has no easy primary color crayola box definition for what I am. I was literally in tears yesterday and more furious than I have been in years because of her blatant stereotyping of me attempting to force me to conform to her simplistic worldviews.
It truly makes me so sad I lack the capacity to accurately describe it. I'm horrified about her lack of informed opinions. She has deluded herself into thinking she has all the answers when she has become a puppet of half-truths with her own deep seated biases justifying everything as an attack upon her values.
I think what I am so disgusted with is that she is completely unwilling to process, acknowledge, or listen to any opinion that doesn't reinforce her own to begin with. I repetitively asked her if she knows the definition of libertarian and she refused to answer. I'm convinced she thought it was another word for liberal because they both begin with a L (no, I'm not joking).
Since I was a child, she has always wanted to be the martyr. I moved away because she would loudly yell and scream at me for hours at a time, telling me it was just communication. Communication for me involves both of us talking at a normal voice and listening. Last night, I got a "happy" little emailing saying we probably shouldn't debate politics because we disagree. No kidding genius. Of course, when debating involves you yelling at me with a raised voice for 30 minutes and me walking away from the phone for minutes at a time and you not realizing I left, maybe you're the one with the issues. Also, perhaps before you decide to educate me about the 'truth' you should take into consideration that your child has a doctorate in what I'm apparently so ignorant about and a specialist who trained under other some of the best academics in the country about what you are trying to explain to me. AND when your child tries to ask if you have actually looked up the bills in question and read them, don't give me a dirty jab and tell me that you don't have to because your websites and Fox News are enough. Finally, when your child tries to politely explain the process of legislation and why its not necessary to freak out over it (because again, said child only spent over 5 years of her life studying this process, but since you can watch tv, that makes you better informed) don't accuse me of being things I am not or have ever been simply because you are too ignorant or closeminded to process the information.
I was the one telling you I didn't disagree with you repetitively, but felt it was improper and inappropriate to stereotype me and place labels on me without even knowing what I stand for. And when I hold beliefs counter to your own, they are dismissed solely out of hand without even listening to any justifications.
I swear to God this is the last time I will ever let you engage me in this way. I moved 400 miles away as an undergraduate to get out of your house because I thought my head would explode. Every time I think it may be a good idea to move home, I am reminded why I am a much happier human 1000 miles away from this world. I may love my family, but I treat my students who I barely know with more courtesy and respect. My world is a world where I know perspections and life experiences shape opinions and views. You see your values as the only ones worthy and everyone else is attempting to undermine and destroy you.
I pity you and frequently wonder how the hell I exceeded my programming to become the person I'm proud to be and show the world.
Friday, September 25, 2009
I teach. freshman. obviously.
Grades went up yesterday.
Between then and now, I have answered no fewer than 10 emails asking to explain what my grade breakdown means. I posted grades, and then I posted a breakdown of how many students in the class scored what. A=15, B=20, etc.
I really didn't think it was a complicated concept.... apparently, I'm wrong.
I also got an essay unlike any other I've ever received. Instead of writing on the topic, this student decided to write out a commercial to me.
I actually complained about that in class today. Not so much about the commerical being inappropriate, but because they failed to attempt the essay, it was a zero. If they had said something like "Whatsits are a thing that does something with dohickeys" with something even if it was all wrong vaguely related to the topic, I could give some points. With this? nope.
Between then and now, I have answered no fewer than 10 emails asking to explain what my grade breakdown means. I posted grades, and then I posted a breakdown of how many students in the class scored what. A=15, B=20, etc.
I really didn't think it was a complicated concept.... apparently, I'm wrong.
I also got an essay unlike any other I've ever received. Instead of writing on the topic, this student decided to write out a commercial to me.
I actually complained about that in class today. Not so much about the commerical being inappropriate, but because they failed to attempt the essay, it was a zero. If they had said something like "Whatsits are a thing that does something with dohickeys" with something even if it was all wrong vaguely related to the topic, I could give some points. With this? nope.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Sometimes I forget how young they are
I talked to my student on Friday. We discussed the situation, and he stalker clearly sounds unhinged, but perhaps part of a larger group. She's being harassed online, and people have come up to her calling her 'their queen.' I think I convinced her to go to administration though when I uttered the all important words "They can help you break leases." Apparently her landlord has been less than helpful because she recently moved in, but feels the need to move for her safety.
I teach an identical class to hers at night (though its paced differently) and I've offered to move her 'off the books' to that class if he figures out her schedule so she can continue to take the class but she won't be in the system anywhere.
I was imparting a bit of safety knowledge I have picked up over the years... nothing special... just 'have you had your computer checked for a keylogger?' or 'have you had your apartment swept for pinhole cameras'? She hadn't even known these existed, and wasn't sure what do to about him. I strongly encouraged her to get a temporary restraining order personally against them, and then go to the Dean's office, report the situation, and see if they can pursue an order against him on campus. He's older than I am, not a student, faculty member, or staff. So, there's no reason for him to be on campus except to harass her.
I was also hailing the security of pepper spray.... not that I'm a huge fan, but her new safety device was "my dad is bringing me a 12 gauge shotgun." I'm also not a huge fan of guns for protection unless you know how to really use them, and do use them on a regular basis. Even then, I still have reservations. She is planning on arming herself with a taser and having the shotgun at home. However, she has no hand to hand training and apparently this guy does. If he disarms her with the taser, then she doesn't have anything. I was explaining at least pepper spray clouds up so it can give you a couple seconds you may not otherwise have.
I'm hopeful things work out for her. I suppose I was just surprised how much of a difference 15 years makes (about the difference in our ages). Maybe I'm just cynical, but I would have dropped the hammer on this guy and not thought twice about it. I would have been camping out in administration offices until they banned him off campus and would have filed a restraining order the same day she was assaulted. I've become a much less forgiving person primarily because I have seen the havoc caused in the wake of crazy people. I don't have enough time in my days to sit around worrying that it will just go away.
I teach an identical class to hers at night (though its paced differently) and I've offered to move her 'off the books' to that class if he figures out her schedule so she can continue to take the class but she won't be in the system anywhere.
I was imparting a bit of safety knowledge I have picked up over the years... nothing special... just 'have you had your computer checked for a keylogger?' or 'have you had your apartment swept for pinhole cameras'? She hadn't even known these existed, and wasn't sure what do to about him. I strongly encouraged her to get a temporary restraining order personally against them, and then go to the Dean's office, report the situation, and see if they can pursue an order against him on campus. He's older than I am, not a student, faculty member, or staff. So, there's no reason for him to be on campus except to harass her.
I was also hailing the security of pepper spray.... not that I'm a huge fan, but her new safety device was "my dad is bringing me a 12 gauge shotgun." I'm also not a huge fan of guns for protection unless you know how to really use them, and do use them on a regular basis. Even then, I still have reservations. She is planning on arming herself with a taser and having the shotgun at home. However, she has no hand to hand training and apparently this guy does. If he disarms her with the taser, then she doesn't have anything. I was explaining at least pepper spray clouds up so it can give you a couple seconds you may not otherwise have.
I'm hopeful things work out for her. I suppose I was just surprised how much of a difference 15 years makes (about the difference in our ages). Maybe I'm just cynical, but I would have dropped the hammer on this guy and not thought twice about it. I would have been camping out in administration offices until they banned him off campus and would have filed a restraining order the same day she was assaulted. I've become a much less forgiving person primarily because I have seen the havoc caused in the wake of crazy people. I don't have enough time in my days to sit around worrying that it will just go away.
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